How I Met My Husband

Me and My Man

The short answer: At work.

The whole story: In 2003, my heart was torn into a million pieces. I had fallen in love with what I thought was “The One”, only to discover that this guy had no problem hurting me and moving on without looking back. In the midst of this dark despair, I made a very conscious decision to find a life mate. I was tired of being alone, so I began my journey of looking for a husband.

Funnily enough, I happened to meet my husband they day after I made this decision, but was not yet ready to see the possibility of being in a relationship with him. (Although my first thought about him was quite dirty, if you know what I mean) I was too broken and too pissed at the entire male gender to get involved with anyone.

Over the next 10 months, my journey to finding my life partner was threefold:

First, I had to address my pain and anger and find healing so that I could be a complete person and bring the best me to the relationship. There was looking at past relationships and owning my part in allowing myself to be treated in ways that tore me down instead of building me up. There was a lot of forgiveness for me and the men in my life, and finally a place of acceptance and confidence about who I truly was, not who I thought I should be.

Secondly, I had to get very clear on what kind of relationship would actually enhance my life. I’m not talking about a list of qualities in the man, but what the relationship itself would look like. For me, this involved adventurous eating, deep philosophical conversation on a daily basis, an openness to raising our children outside of the mainstream, and an unyielding sense of support for both of us to go after our dreams.

The third factor on this journey was getting out there, taking risks, and being willing to do things differently. The way I had been doing things had not led me to my soul mate, so it was time for something new. I had a date with an Alaskan fisherman who had come to NYC in pursuit of a wife. I began writing letters with a guy in Wyoming who was feeling ready for marriage. I went off to LA to look up past boyfriends to see if one of them could be “the one”.

All this time, I’m working with the man who eventually became my husband. We were part of the same social crowd, so would be at the same bar after work and go to some events with the same group. One day, a bunch of us were at the beach, and my now husband reached out and touched my belly button! It was like electric sparks all over my body. I was totally taken aback.

The next day, I told a friend what had happened, and this friend suggested that I go out with Rodolfo. I responded with, “I can’t date Rodolfo! We are really good friends and we always have a good time and he really supports me and we both encourage each other to go after our dreams…” at which point my friend interrupted and said (profanity warning), “So, are you looking for the asshole who treats you like shit?”

I went straight home and called Rodolfo and asked him out. By the end of our first date, it was clear that we would probably get married. He fit in remarkably to the vision I had of an ideal relationship. We immediately became the most important person in eachothers’ lives. We dated for about a year, lived together for about a year, were engaged for about a year, then got married, moved to NC, bought a house and had a baby all within one year! Whew!

It is love.

People often ask us how we do it, how we can be so happy together. The main thing is that we realize that having a fulfilling relationship is not all sunshine and roses. It’s having tough conversations, saying things that you don’t want to say, facing aspects about yourself you wished you never had to face. It’s about being authentic, honest, open, willing to make mistakes, willing to put the work in, and willing to let someone love you and see the beauty inside of you.

Learn how to apply all that I learned to your life and meet your perfect guy. Check out Empowered Attraction.

Jessica Sabatini
www.The360Woman.com
jessica@the360woman.com